What Thoughts Do You Wake Up To?

Often, I wake up, and my to-do list unravels in my head,
Followed by the thoughts, “you HAVE to do it all!”
“You have to start now!”
And when my depression and anxiety are louder,
“It’s too late…you’ve already lost.”

There was a time when working was my coping mechanism
To counter those thoughts of insufficiency.
Through journaling, I’ve learned that when I
Jump from bed-to-work, take-on that to-do list head-on,
I’m not countering those thoughts.
I’m feeding them.

That’s why my morning routine is now sacred.
That walk from my bedroom to kitchen,
That’s a moment I have power.
I have choice
To sit down and open my laptop
or
To walk PAST my laptop,
Walk past the line of jeering voices.

It’s my choice to make my hot water and coffee,
Sit down with my Zenit Journal,
Check in with myself, “What am I feeling?”
“What do I want in my heart?”
“What serves me today?”